


Miraculous Hellsing

by DeadmanDairyland



Series: Miraculous Hellsing [1]
Category: Hellsing, Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Gen, Inspired by Ladybug PV, Possible spoilers for season 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-06-22
Packaged: 2018-11-17 05:36:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11268999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeadmanDairyland/pseuds/DeadmanDairyland
Summary: Le Papillon gives a speech to his army of 1,000 butterflies.





	Miraculous Hellsing

**Author's Note:**

> You may be wondering why this exists. Well, I'll tell you.
> 
> Several months ago I started watching Miraculous Ladybug. Soon after, I came across Ladybug PV. I remember watching that video, and my immediate response afterwards was "Is this Hellsing? Was this show originally supposed to be like Hellsing?"
> 
> And can you blame me for that reaction? There were a lot of blimps. A LOT of blimps, and a lot of butterfly logos. Butterfly logos everywhere. Red skies, red city, everything was red. Things looked like they might have been on fire, world famous landmarks were being destroyed... Hellsing. It was Hellsing.
> 
> This is not the first Miraculous/Hellsing fan thing I've ever done, but it's the first one I've been able to post publicly.
> 
> So here you go. A parody of The Major's war speech. Have fun.
> 
> (Not rating this fic because that way the content warning thing will pop up. I don't want to be responsible for a bunch of small children wondering what Hellsing is and looking it up. Please wait until you're older, little ones. You're not ready for that mess.)

Le Papillon stood before the thousand butterflies that fluttered around the massive and luxurious bridge of the airship _Papilione Ex Machina._ Surrounding him were victims of the past he had once again gained control of. Centered before him was a massive butterfly logo on the priceless red carpet. He stared down at it briefly, reminding himself of who he was and what he had set out to do.

He looked up at his army of butterflies and smiled devilishly. Tonight would be a night for Paris to remember.

"My friends," he began, "it has often been said that I like Miraculous."

The moonlight shone down on him from behind, giving him an almost ethereal glow.

"My friends," he continued. "I like Miraculous."

He paused, and his grin widened, revealing each and every one of his hungry teeth.

"No, friends," he said with a gleam in his eye, "I _love_ Miraculous."

The thousand butterflies and victims listened intently as the masked villain began his speech.

"I love _cataclysm!_ I love _destruction!_ I love corruption. I love cacophony, catastrophe; I love devastation and defeat. In schools, in streets, in parks, on rooftops, in the Louvre, Notre-Dame, under the Arc de Triomphe, on the Eiffel Tower, on land, on the Seine, in the air, any place the heroes of Paris could be, I love every battle, plan, and contingency."

His eyes fell on an akumatized girl sporting an umbrella and multi-colored twintails. The girl grinned back, honored at being chosen as an example.

"I love when Climatika blasts her enemies with lightning from her parasol. My heart sings when I imagine Ladybug thrown into the air and zapped like an insect who wandered too close to the light."

His eyes met those of an akumatized mime, who returned his wicked grin.

"And there is nothing quite like a mime using an ancient and seemingly harmless form of entertainment to crush his enemies. To watch Ladybug try to dodge imaginary objects out of necessity is most amusing.

"And I love when zombies under the command of Jackady rush his foes with intent to obliterate he who gave him grief," he said to the hypnotist, his smile more earnest, as if showing him a deeper level of respect. "It thrills me to the core to watch a man be rendered silent and helpless as he stands over the side of a building, believing himself to be capable of flight, nearly plummeting to his doom."

He turned to an akumatized girl holding a peculiarly shaped gun. "When the leaders of the world fall on their knees at the feet of Princesse Fragrance, I am in awe." He turned to an akumatized man dressed in a suit of armor. "When Le Chevalier Noir leads his knights into the streets, I am ecstatic."

His attention shifted to an akumatized boy with a beret sitting on top of a mop of red and purple hair. "I love it when I see the hurt and downtrodden fight back against that heartless Ladybug. It moves me deep within my soul to see heartbroken men reach deep inside themselves to find a power within them," his eyes found another akumatized boy with wings and a quiver on his back, "the will to motivate themselves and to stand up for their right to be loved and accepted.

"And," he said with a smirk, "though this may come as a surprise to you, I love it when Ladybug wins the fight. Every good leader knows there is no such thing as failure. Every defeat comes with knowledge, and gives me more opportunities to study my opponents' weaknesses and flaws."

He planted the cane onto the carpet and leaned forward onto it.

"Gentlemen," Le Papillon said calmly, raising one hand up in front of him, "all I ask for are Ladybug and Chat Noir's Miraculous, those priceless accessories which, when brought together, could grant a single man the powers of Heaven and Hell.

"Gentlemen," he said, this time with more gusto, "I ask you as your fellow _papillon_ what it is that you desire. Do you wish for me to succeed in my goal?" He raised his other hand, and his voice rose further. "Do you wish for all your dreams to come true, for all your desires to be granted, with the powers I've granted you, the powers of iron, and lightning, and fire?" His voice now boomed throughout the bridge of the _Papilione Ex Machina._ "Do you wish for akumatization to sweep this city like a flood, that not even the pigeons themselves can escape?!"

The butterflies fluttered excitedly in the room, and the akumatized began to chant:

"Evilize! Evilize! Evilize! Evilize!"

Le Papillon brought his arms in front of him and clenched his fists. "Very well," he said in a much softer tone, though his smile said otherwise. "Then evilization is what you shall have. We are the butterflies: an omen, a revolution, ready to swallow the City of Light in darkness!

"But," he added, raising an index finger while his other hand held his cane at his side, "after enduring all these trials they have put you all through, the way they've mocked and humiliated you, a simple battle will not suffice, don't you agree?"

His voice rose again as his arms gestured wildly. "We need a battle _so massive_ that the entire European Union will feel the consequences of your enemies' actions! A battle so fierce that from now on when people talk about the 'French Revolution,' they'll have forgotten the name Robespierre, and instead be talking about _us!_

"We are but a simple army of butterflies," Le Papillon continued calmly, "an army of broken hearts and minds, numbering less than a thousand strong. However, I believe that each and every one of you is equal to a thousand of their wimpy policemen and armed soldiers. We are a force of nature that could effortlessly handle any military that dare come before us. It is time for them to wake up, the ones who made us scream and cry and shout in anger, and who now lie sleeping. Let's drag them out of bed by the hair, and remind them of who we are! We will remind them of a time before modern convenience: a time of war, a time of glory, and a time of revolution. We will remind them of those history textbooks they pretended to read in school, the bloody history of France!"

Elsewhere in Paris, a blogger watched as blimps flew in the skies over her head. She fiddled with her necklace and bit her lip nervously, yet her eyes showed confidence.

"We will remind them of fire, that Hellfire, that fire that burns in our skin."

In another part of Paris, a husband and wife walked out of their bakery, looking up at the dark clouds looming overhead. Meanwhile, in a massage parlor, a young socialite stared at her hair comb with a quivering lip, and an old man closed his eyes, sensing the dark energies surrounding them.

"Our army of one thousand butterflies is going to rain embers down on this supposed City of Love!"

In the Hôtel de Ville, the mayor attempted to hide his tall frame underneath his desk.

"Yes, my friends! Soon, all of Paris will illuminate the night sky--not with lightbulbs and electricity, but with fire and lightning!"

On the rooftops of Paris, two heroes watched as the blimps appeared over the horizon.

"I have brought you all back just as I promised I would. Back into the field. Back into the fight against Ladybug and Chat Noir!"

The butterflies flapped their wings wildly, and the akumatized raised their arms as their deafening cheers filled the bridge of the _Papilione Ex Machina._

"At last, the omen arrives in Paris, flying over the Seine." Le Papillon held his hand out to his army. "Attention, my fellow _papillons._ This is a message from your monarch."

Le Papillon leaned forward on his cane once more. His voice fell to a devilish hiss as he gave them their order.

_"Friends... let's bring them butterflies..."_

**Author's Note:**

> How do you guys like that Hunchback of Notre Dame reference I threw in there? Pretty slick, huh?
> 
> I don't normally call these characters by their French names (which is funny because, like everyone else, I say "Chat Noir" regardless, at least when I'm typing), but I felt these names would fit better for... some reason. Consistency, maybe? Heck if I know.
> 
> Those "possible spoilers," by the way, are based on leaked pictures about certain individuals having certain magical jewelry, but I think the fandom for the most part is already fully aware of them.


End file.
